Weekend Trip: Tree House Homestay and Clover Greens Golf Club

I have two major hobbies: travelling and writing about travel. However, of late, I have started enjoying reading about travel, too. A casual search on road trips around Bangalore led me to an LBB post featuring a write-up on a beautiful tree house homestay just off Sarjapur and about a 45-minute drive away from Bangalore, on the outskirts bordering Tamil Nadu. A little more research revealed that the house is actually the property of a local architect who rents it out on Airbnb.

The Tree House Homestay

The link that the site provided, however, showed that the tree house remains booked almost throughout the month. Thus, booking in advance is recommended. 

A travel-loving friend and I decided to explore the tree house and the surrounding area over a weekend. We decided to head for the place on a Friday evening and reached the place at around 10 pm. Although the tree house remains well-lit at night and is inside a gated farm, the road leading to the place was isolated and a bit creepy at night. There is a 2 km stretch that is completely dark and can be scary at night.

The Beautiful Balcony

Me, Posing

However, once we reached the place (which is located next to a village), the friendly caretaker guided us to the tree house. Not much of the property could be explored at night, but we noticed that the place was decked with fairy lights and looked lovely.

The Sofa Bed

Cute Decor

Once inside, we were floored by the strategic use of space inside the tree house. The amenities that we got as part of the package included:

• An AC tree house with a balcony
• A TV attached to a convertible bed
• A well-stocked kitchen, with a microwave oven, an induction cooker, a fridge, utensils, crockery, and cutlery
• A sofa-bed 
• An attached bathroom with a glass (not opaque, not even semi-opaque) door, a cute little bath area, a geyser, and a hair-dryer.
• An emergency light (just in case, the power fails)
• A heater 
• A whole lot of cupboards and storage areas, two wooden chairs, and a coffee table

The TV and Convertible Bed

The Convertible Bed

Glass Doors

The aforementioned list is not meant to be an advertisement for the place but a sheer expression of awe at how well-utilised the space was. The house also had cute decor, and there was not a speck of dust inside.

The next morning, we spent some time exploring the property. The place was essentially a farm house, with a badminton court, a bonfire area, and a campsite. 

The Balcony

The Campsite

After having our morning cuppa at the beautiful balcony (surrounded by greenery) and clicking a few photos, we headed for brunch at the nearby Clover Greens Golf Course. The golf course is a nearby attraction (only a bit more than a km away) and has an affordably priced restaurant. It is apt for a team outing or even a short excursion with friends.

Decor at Clover Greens

Brunch at Clover Greens

We had an awesome brunch there, and our spread included masala dosa (which was unusually tasty), scrambled eggs, toast, baked beans, and pancakes. 

There was nothing much to do at the golf course, and we left after a quick recce of the property. It appears the golf course compound offers accommodation and also delivers food to the tree house on request. 

Me, Posing Again

Those who wish to visit only touristy places might be disappointed, as there are no tourist spots or typical "places to see" near the tree house. However, if one wishes to spend a quiet weekend, away from the hustle and bustle of Bangalore, amidst the chirps of birds and in a well-equipped, modern tree house, the homestay is THE place to be! At the end of the trip, I could say for sure that I had fulfilled my fantasy of staying in a tree house. 

The First Trip of the New Year: Anthargange

A new year brings with it new hopes and wishes. My only wish this year, however, is to travel and explore as many new places as I can. My new year's day, too, began with a short day trip to a nearby hamlet known as Anthargange, located in Kolar, Karnataka. One of my college friends, her husband, and I spent the day road-tripping to this lesser-known yet pretty place.

The "Kashi of the South"

We began our journey from Bangalore at around 7 in the morning, which meant the roads were mostly empty. Being the 1st of January, however, the roads that day were scattered with revellers from the previous night, driving or walking back home. The streets were still lit and exuded a warm, festive feel.

We drove through the Bangalore-Tirupati highway and stopped at a South Indian joint to have breakfast. A few dosas and sandwiches later, we hopped back into the car and enjoyed the soothing ride to our destination.

The Scenic Route Leading to Kolar

The road was smooth and intermittently flanked by rocky hills. This made for a scenic ride, and we took maximum advantage by clicking photos and filming our ride. 

We reached our destination within 2 hours. It was roughly around 80 km from Bangalore. 

Our first destination was the Sri Kashi Vishweshwara temple, which is also known as the "Kashi of the South." It is perched on a hill that is accessible by stairs. A 5-minute climb, interrupted briefly by the monkey families that stay at the site, took us to the temple. 

The Hike Leading to the Temple

The temple offers good photo-ops (the view from the top) and has a sacred tank in the middle. It is also the base of a pretty scenic trek up the rocky hills, leading to the famous Anthargange caves. We tried to trek up the hill but decided to get back to the temple after covering a bit of it, as we were not in the mood for adventure. We did, however, see a group of enthusiastic youngsters trek up the hill towards the cave.

Sri Kashi Vishweshwara Temple

We decided to click some photos of the pretty landscape around us and then head back. We had heard of the Kolar CCD and its beautiful location, and we decided to drive towards it. The CCD outlet did not disappoint us. It was set against the backdrop of a rocky hill and had seats with a pretty view of the surrounding area. 

The Kolar CCD

After a few more sandwiches and a long session of chit-chat about our respective travel experiences, we headed back to town.

On the way back, we visited the Ramakrishna Matha in Basvangudi. The place is decked with gardens and has a large meditation area. It was a soul-soothing experience.

The Liberty Bell, Ramakrishna Matha, Bangalore

Thus, the first day of the year was a laid-back yet enjoyable day, spent exploring new places in and around Bangalore. Here's hoping that I am able to continue my exploration throughout 2019.

Blissful Bhutan - The Last Shangri-La

Bhutan happened to me out of the blue! Having been vacay-deprived for a long time, I was hungry for a moderately long vacation to some exotic place I had never been before, preferably on the other side of the Indian border. Eventually, I was to make a choice between Sri Lanka and Bhutan. While Sri Lanka is still on my wish-list, Bhutan was worth the time, energy, and money spent. The following is a glimpse of my little rendezvous with "The Last Shangri-La," the little mountain kingdom of Bhutan.

On the Way to Punakha

I joined a group of travellers from Kolkata, my hometown, as it is quite easy to travel from Kolkata to Thimphu (via the border towns of Jaigaon and Phuntsholing). We boarded a train from Kolkata to Hasimara and then took a bus to Jaigaon, the last stop in India before one enters Bhutan by road from Bengal. 

While Jaigaon was quite hot, the weather in Bhutan (a few miles on the other side of the border) was relatively cooler. The dip in the temperature could be felt once we reached Thimphu, the capital of Bhutan. 

Day 1: Thimphu, in All Its Grandeur

As one crosses the immigration posts (there are multiple, apart from the major one near the Bhutan Gate at the border), one can experience the visible difference between the two countries. The noise and the pollution ends at the border, and the fresh mountain air of Bhutan, coupled with the spotless roads, amazes one. 

The Thimphu Gate

Our first day in Thimphu was an eventful one. We started with a visit to the local art school, the National Institute for Zorig Chusum. While in countries such as ours, we find students clamouring for engineering and management institutes, in Bhutan, no such rush exists. They seem to live life at their own pace. It was enlightening to see a huge number of Bhutanese youngsters drawing or sculpting at this institute. Travellers can click photos inside the institute, interact with the students, and buy their creations at the institute's curio shop. 

Just a Shop in Thimphu

Our next stop was Bhutan's National Library, which seemed like an architectural marvel. While the library hosts several rare Bhutanese books, one of them stands out amidst the rest. The book in question is supposed to be the Guinness-record-holder for the largest book in the world. It is a montage of Bhutan's culture and heritage, with gorgeous photos of Bhutan's serene landscape. The library premises offer great photo-ops.

The National Library

Our next destination was the Drupthob Thangtong Dewachen Nunnery. This is an ancient nunnery nestled amidst towering mountains and a place where one is sure to find a lot of canine companions, as they are scattered all over the site. 

The Dewachen Nunnery

A short distance away is the Changangkha Lakhang, a sacred place where the Bhutanese bring their newborns to be christened and blessed. 

The next spot, Buddha Dordenma, or the Big Buddha, was one of my favourite places in Bhutan. As one enters this hallowed place, one finds a towering golden statue of Lord Buddha, surrounded by statues of angels, overlooking a lush green mountain. The place offers gorgeous views and is a photographer's delight.

The Angels at the Buddha Dordenma

Our last destination for the day was The Memorial Chorten, one of the many "stupas" of Bhutan. We did not enter the Chorten and sped to the local market instead, as it was already dusk by then.

The Buddha Dordenma

The local markets did not disappoint, though the prices were too steep. We headed to the hotel after buying some souvenirs and enjoying some local delicacies such as Kewa Datshi (a concoction of boiled potatoes, chillies, and cheese, which reminded me of veg stroganoff and other Continental delicacies).

Day 2: Dochula and Punakha

Our second day in Bhutan began with a visit to the beautiful Dochula Pass. With stunning views of snow-capped Himalayan peaks, Dochula is also home to 108 "stupas" built by the Bhutanese queen in memory of the soldiers who lost their lives battling Assamese militants in 2003.

Dochula Pass

This place is straight out of a fairy tale, as one finds towering trees enveloping the entire area. There is a cafe with a gorgeous view of the surrounding mountains and a canine family that loves to play with tourists. 

The Cafe at Dochula Pass

After spending an awesome morning at Dochula, we headed for the legendary Punakha Dzong. This is the second-largest "dzong" (or fortress) in Bhutan. If Dochula was a fairy tale, Punakha certainly was a heavenly deal! The way to Punakha itself offers views of the stunning landscape, with the greenish-blue Mo Chu (Mo river, as "chu" means "river" in Dzongkha) meandering by.

Punakha Dzong

Unfortunately, we had reached at the last moment, with about 20 minutes to spare. The dzong maintains official hours and closes for lunch at 1 pm. We took a quick round of the prayer area (with the statues of Rinpoche and his various avatars) and the gorgeously built administrative buildings.

The dampener of the day was a power cut in our hotel that evening. It was also my birthday, and I was happy that I had spent the entire day away from the humdrum of city life and fake camaraderie.

However, the power cut spoilt my mood. Though the power was back after an hour or so, we had almost frozen to bits without the heater or the geyser for an hour.

Day 3: Paro Chu

The next day began with a visit to the beautiful Paro river. With jaw-dropping views and clear, greenish-blue waters, the river offers stunning backdrops for photos. The white pebbles dotting the banks add to the river's beauty. I had my first ziplining experience at this river, and it was an awesome experience.

At the Paro River

While the Tiger's Nest in Paro is THE most sought-after destination in Bhutan, we did not have it listed in our short, time-bound itinerary. All we could manage was a view from a distance (not fit for a decent photo). We weren't carrying proper hiking gear either and were told the steep hike to the top of the monastery would take around 3 hours, with another 2 hours for the trek back. We were given an option to carry out the trek at our own risk, but none from the group opted for it, as it was not a part of the itinerary. I have vowed to cover the hike someday though! 

We also visited the Drugyel Dzong, the ruins of a centuries-old dzong, with beautiful views of the surrounding valley.

At the Drugyel Dzong

Day 4: Paro Airport, Che Le La Pass, and Haa Valley

Day 4 began with a bird's eye-view of the stunning Paro Airport. Flanked by a river on one side and a mountain range on the other, this airport is considered to be one of the most dangerous airports in the world, with only a handful of pilots equipped with the skills to take off and land here.

A Bird's Eye-View of the Paro Airport

We then headed to the Che Le La Pass, the highest motorable road in Bhutan, situated at a height of 3988 m. The pass offers gorgeous views of the lush green Haa Valley, bordering Tibet and China. One also gets an awesome view of the snow-clad Jomolhari peak from this place.

Che Le La Pass

We made our way through snow-clad roads back to Paro. That evening, we shopped more at the local shops in Paro. While things were relatively cheaper there than in Thimphu, the chilling temperatures did not let us shop for too long. 

The Jomolhari

Day 5: Back to Jaigaon

Our trip ended on the fifth day. It was a misty morning, and we bid goodbye to this awesome country. As we headed back to Jaigaon and then to Hasimara through roads flanked by acres of lush green tea gardens, we were a happy bunch, enriched by the experience of visiting the world's only carbon-negative country.

Fun Facts about Bhutan:

While, my journey to Bhutan was my first step outside India, it was also a journey marked by a number of new experiences. I have shared a few of them below:

• Bhutan is the world's first and only carbon-negative country, which means, they produce more oxygen than carbon dioxide. It is mandatory for the country to have more than 60% of its land to be covered by trees at any given point in time. 
• Remaining true to its carbon-negative status, the country has banned smoking (tobacco of any sort). One cannot throw garbage on the streets or urinate in public without paying a hefty fine. 
• Bhutan has also banned fishing and mountaineering. It is illegal to "conquer" a mountain in Bhutan, as all mountains are considered sacred. 
• The Bhutanese currency is of the same value as the Indian currency. People from India, Maldives, and Bangladesh can travel to Bhutan visa-free. Indians do not even require a passport to visit Bhutan, owing to great trade relations between the two countries.
• Bhutan's markets have an awesome collection of the phallus symbol. I found the markets of Paro full of curio shops selling various forms of the phallus (big, fat, colourful) symbol, which one sales lady told me signifies good luck in Bhutan. 

The Phallus (Curio) Shops in Bhutan

• Bhutan's roads do not have any traffic at all. The main crossing in Thimphu has just one policeman and no traffic lights. There is a heavy fine to be paid if a pedestrian does not use the zebra crossing. 
• Bhutan's streets and buildings are adorned with huge photos and posters of the royal family. The royal family of Bhutan is loved and revered by the local population, although Bhutan is currently a democracy. 

The Royal Family

• Bhutan's buildings, be they shops, administrative buildings, or homes, are beautifully crafted, with unique Bhutanese architecture and paintings adorning most of them. One of the most popular motifs painted on such buildings is that of the legend of the four friends, depicting an elephant, a monkey, a hare, and a bird sitting beneath a tree. The legend depicts the spirit of friendship and coordination. 

The Legend of the Four Friends

• Bhutan's people are mostly dressed in their national attire: the "gho" for men and the "kira" for ladies. The local population also dresses modestly (I was asked to do so, too, and wasn't particularly pleased, before I realized it was Bhutan I was in, and not India). :-)
• Bhutan measures its growth not by GDP (Gross Domestic Product), but by GNH (Gross National Happiness). It is said, they value growth only if it does not harm the environment in any manner. Any business stationed in Bhutan has to certify that it would not harm the environment in any manner. 
• Although Thimphu is the national capital of the country, Paro provides better internet connectivity and is home to Bhutan's only international airport. 

Thus, Bhutan was definitely an apt start to my overseas ventures. I would not really use the term "foreign" to describe my trip, as Bhutan is just a mirror image of India, though much cleaner and much more disciplined.

Soloing Gokarna - A Bittersweet Chapter

My blog primarily began as an outlet for my angst and my creative outbursts. It is a mixed bag of poetry, short stories, interesting anecdotes, and personal reflections.

Of late, however, I have been thinking of starting a blog exclusively for my travel adventures. Before I come up with a full-fledged travel blog, I would want to add a few colors of my travel experiences to this blog, too.

My lust for travel began long back, when I was in school. Blessed with a mother who loved exploring new places, I had a gala time traveling around the country for most of my childhood and adolescence. The urge to explore new cities and towns followed me to adulthood. After exploring a major chunk of the country (with only 6 more states to go), I feel I am in a position to narrate my experiences to others who wish to travel extensively.

A casual selfie in Gokarna

Although I have mostly traveled in groups and with friends, solo travel is something that I have found most enriching. Unfortunately, till recently, I had traveled solo only to cities such as Mumbai, Ranchi, and Ahmedabad, and that too, mostly because of work.

Thus, I was ecstatic when I decided to travel solo to a place as beautiful as Gokarna. The trip was, however, not meant to be solo. Owing to a friend's inability to join me for the trip due to a family emergency, I had to plan solo at the last moment. However, I was definitely not disappointed. The following are some anecdotes from my Gokarna trip that I felt like sharing with my friends:

A Woman Soloing on a "Bandh" Day

What's that one nightmare we all like to avoid? Planning a solo trip in advance and then realizing the day before that there is a nationwide strike on the day of the journey. I had booked bus tickets in advance and was scared I may not reach the designated boarding point at the scheduled time. Redbus assured me that the bus would not be canceled. To be on the safer side, I tried reaching the spot early. To my disgust, I found app cabs were not plying. Local autos, too, were overcharging. I hired an auto with a reluctant driver who charged me 130 rupees for a ride that usually costs around 30 rupees. His logic? "Madam, hamara bandh toh 6 baje tak hai." The "bandh" was, however, supposed to last till 3 pm.
The driver realized I had a bus to catch and turned into his creepy self. His lusty elbows brushed against my breasts, as I tried getting in the auto, because, I guess, a woman's breast is everyone's business, and a lone woman's breast is public property. The feminist in me wanted to slap him and get off. However, as there were hardly any autos on the road at that time and as I was all alone, I decided to be the quintessential Indian woman who ignores molesters instead of raising her voice (Shame on me for that). While he reached the destination soon, he did not leave an opportunity to ask me if I would like to have some "chai paani," as there was still time for the bus to arrive. This time, as I handed him the fare, I mouthed a few colorful expletives, including a few involving his mother and sister. The driver did not mess with me anymore and scooted.

The bus to Gokarna arrived on time, and I thought my troubles had ended.

Gokarna- Beautiful and Spooky. Day 1

The bus reached Gokarna at 9 am, and I was upbeat about my first solo experience at a place other than a city. The auto drivers in Gokarna were far less creepy. I had a bed booked in a 6-bed dorm at Zostel, and as soon as I mentioned Zostel, one of the drivers came forward and said "100 rupees only." That was a little too much for a 2 km journey, but I gave in.

Zostel is perched on a hill a few blocks away from Gokarna Beach and is a little isolated. It looks more like a mid-budget resort than a hostel. They let me check in early. The first thing that strikes one as one enters Zostel is the breathtaking view of Gokarna Beach. One can hear the roaring waves from the terrace and the in-house eatery, Mantra Cafe.

Me posing at the Zostel terrace, with the beautiful Gokarna Beach in the background

I had booked a bed in the ladies' dorm and shared the room with 4 perky 19-year-olds from Symbiosis, Pune, and a mature 30-something from Bangalore. The group of 4 were mostly busy with their guitar and their nocturnal adventures at the beach. The 30-something, however, had a deeper story to tell. She turned out to be a techie who had worked with a reputed MNC and had quit her job a year back to travel across India. I was glad I found someone like-minded.

After a sumptuous breakfast at Mantra, I ventured out alone towards Kudle Beach. It was a 20-minute walk from Zostel, through a silent path, flanked by greenery. The last leg of my walk was interesting, as it consisted of a mini-trek of sorts through an uneven terrain.

The isolated stretch leading to Kudle

As I reached the beach, I found a shack to my right. The shack turned out to be La Pizzeria, which, according to me, offered one of the loveliest views of the sea. The waters reached the stairs at the entrance. After spending an hour munching on a Nutella-banana cake and soaking in the gorgeous view, while exchanging flirty glances with two cute boys at the next table, I decided it was time for me to leave.

The waves reaching the entrance to La Pizzeria

My way back to Zostel was marred by one incident (which I believe is common in that area). At a deserted stretch on the way back to the hostel, a man on a bike stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride on his bike. I said "No" politely and tried to look calm. The best part was he left without harassing me anymore. The scariest part was my phone had zero battery and had conked off. I reached Zostel within a few minutes and shared my experience with my roommates, to which they said they too had experienced men following them on that stretch and on the beaches.
This was a dampener to my otherwise beautiful day in Gokarna.

My day ended with a visit to the Mahabaleshwar Temple and a bit of street-shopping.

Gokarna is Beautiful. Day 2

The next day began with a beautiful view of the beach and a few gorgeous clicks of the misty morning.

At breakfast, an overzealous Zostelite decided to convince me to accompany him to a beach trek. He was a solo traveler from Mumbai. I had other plans though. I was supposed to visit Om Beach, Gokarna Beach, and some of Gokarna's best-known cafes.

Om Beach was pretty, and I had another traveler click some nice photos as I posed to my heart's content. After a casual stroll on the beach, I decided to spend some quality time at Namaste Cafe, which I had heard a lot about. I was relishing my mushroom sandwich and apple juice at the cafe when a traveler seated at the next table initiated an interesting conversation. He was a biker from Chennai and had been biking solo to various places for about a week. He planned to travel to Goa next and asked me if I would like to join him for dinner that evening at Namaste. Much as I wished to continue the conversation, I decided not to be too adventurous, as Om Beach was a decent 4 km away from Zostel. I bid this hippie goodbye as I ventured towards Gokarna Beach.

Posing @ Om Beach

It was hot and I spent a few minutes at Gokarna Beach, before realizing that a few priests were performing some puja at the beach, wearing dhotis above their knees while they stared at my short skirt. What an irony! I missed Prema Restaurant, as it was getting very hot, and went back to Zostel.

I watched one of the most awe-inspiring sunsets from the Zostel terrace that evening. After a brief chat with a French Zostelite (I had caught him smiling at me the previous day too) at the terrace, I had a cozy dinner with my new roommate, a girl with a serious expression and a work laptop. The other roommates had checked out that day and I was already missing them.

The breathtaking sunset from the Zostel terrace

A Dreamy Morning and a Harrowing Journey Back. Day 3

Day 3 began with me soaking in the misty morning on the terrace again. I was greeted by a new Zostelite this time, a 30-year-old animator from Mumbai, soloing just like me. She seemed chirpy and had plans to bike to Murudeshwar.

I had a chatty breakfast with two Zostelite friends and checked out that morning. My new friend from Mumbai and I chilled in the common room, clicked some quirky photos, and had a light lunch at the White Elephant Cafe, near Kudle, which had an awesome view and was fairly empty that afternoon.

Following the lunch and the chitchat session, we decided to explore the meadows surrounding White Elephant. We were glad to find a hidden spot, a short hike away, with a gorgeous view of Kudle. After clicking some awesome photos, we headed back to the hostel.

The gorgeous view from the hidden spot just behind White Elephant

I left for the boarding point early, as most shops were closed due to Ganesh Chaturthi. Following a light meal at a decent South Indian restaurant, I waited for the bus to arrive at the designated spot. My wait turned into worry as the bus did not arrive on time. I called up and was asked to reach a petrol pump that was about a km away from the designated spot. I was dumbfounded at their lack of professionalism. At 7:30 pm, a man on a bike reached the spot and asked me to get on his bike, claiming he was a bus staff and that the bus was waiting at the petrol pump. I was on my guard and refused to get on his bike. The audacity of the bus staff enraged me. I had paid a decent sum to book a seat on a bus that would reach the bus stop and not some isolated spot. The man arranged an auto for me (which I had to pay for), after I raised an alarm. They took me to a shady petrol pump, where the bus waited for more passengers. The only explanation I got from the staff (visibly drunk) was that it was Ganesh Chaturthi and the bus driver would not drive to the market (I did not get get any further explanation). I was also told I was the only passenger from that point and that the other passengers would board the bus after a few stops. Feminist or not, that night, I had to take a tough call. At one point I wished to cancel my ticket and get back to Zostel for the night. However, getting an auto would have been tough at that time. I decided to wait, and by God's grace (or by Ganapati Bappa's grace, I guess), a young couple boarded the bus soon. Thus, the bus carried just 3 passengers (including me) for about 10 minutes, through an isolated, dark stretch with no lights.

My harrowing experience ended soon, as more people boarded the bus. I reached Bangalore the next morning.

The Takeaway

Thus, my 3-day trip to Gokarna ended on a bittersweet note, with me gaining a few like-minded friends and adding another feather to my cap. However, I also learned that a woman is not safe anywhere in India. A solo woman traveler is not always looking for a man's company, and people need to respect her boundaries. Soloing is not a placard screaming "I am here to get a boyfriend."

However, I will definitely not let the bitter experiences outdo the awesome time I had in this breathtakingly beautiful place called Gokarna. With its lush greenery and blue waters, resembling the jaw-dropping terrain of Ireland, Gokarna makes for the perfect budget-friendly weekend trip from Bangalore. Here's to more such trips!!! Gokarna rocks!

Of Relationships...and why I cannot "move on, man..."

This is a post that I had left half-written as a draft and had forgotten about. Logged in to my personal blog after ages today and found this piece relevant.

While "relationship" and "commitment" are words that become too "heavy" for some in this robotic, money-driven world, they are, in fact, quite simple concepts. It is not fair to equate a healthy relationship with a marriage, as both aren't necessarily equivalent to each other. A relationship builds a person up, nurtures him/her, and offers companionship. A marriage, especially that of the "arranged" variety, may not always do the same. A relationship should not be a truckload of expectations. However, if two people consciously decide to be with each other and genuinely desire nothing but companionship, they are bound to fall back on each other in times of crisis. It is true that nobody can or should force another person to "commit." However, if a person has the slightest bit of concern for another person, there will never be an occasion that can cause the other person to feel insecure or depressed. I believe, this is the red flag that helps one differentiate between a purely sexual intent and a deeper, more meaningful interest.

Keeping in mind the growing trend of people getting into emotionless, attachment-free relationships/ open relationships/ open marriages, I have enumerated a few points that sum up who I am, as a person.

Disclaimer: This is not a Tinder bio or a matrimonial/dating ad, but it may help others who are in similar situations feel that they are not alone.

1) "Friend-zone" is not a derisive word. I do not club losers and friends together. People who are in my "friend-zone" are not those who tried to figure in my personal life and failed. They are people I respect and admire as friends, in the truest sense of the word.

2) I cannot "move on, man..." like the uber-chic kids featured in the Fastrack ad. My relationships are not defined by the mere materialistic aspects of life. I will not get over someone by giving him back the watch that he gifted me or by taking back the glares that I bought him on his birthday.

3) Yes, I cry a lot. I show my emotions. I am not indifferent to people around me. That makes me human. Crying is not for the weak. It is for those who are not scared to reveal their emotions.

4) No, I DO NOT believe in "open relationships." Relationships, to me, are bonds, and bonds can only bind people together and strengthen their relationship. The moment it is "open," it ceases to be a relationship. A relationship is not a 24/7 hotline that is always "open."

5) I don't know how to keep my options open, when it comes to people. The moment I choose to be "open" to multiple options, I lose interest in all of them. I cannot "date" multiple people for a while and then develop feelings for one of them over a period of time. People are not brands to be chosen over other brands based on their utility.

6) "Love" and "sex" need not be synonymous, but some may not be able to put them in disjoint sets of a Venn diagram. It is important to realize that people who indulge in physical intimacy with a person they are close to, and not with random people, are not weak and do not need to transform themselves into pseudo-modern humanoids who can switch their emotions and drives on and off at will. While people who can indulge in random intimacy with random people should not be judged, those who do not wish to do so should not be judged either.

I could have added more points, but why bother words on this rainy Saturday evening and ask them to describe concepts as simple as "love" and "emotions"? Let those words nap. Let humans become more conscious of the real world and the real people made of flesh and bones than those plastic images we put up on social media for the world to see and admire.

Adios.

No one knows why

       

She passes through the bubble called Life.... immersed in subdued melancholia...

        Her smile ---eroding by the hour--- embalmed --to glow beyond the death of her soul..

               Like an Egyptian mummy--- wrapped in perfection, yet fragile inside.....

         She has known many....strange and toxic..... souls which melt into hers, 

               And others which refuse to blend--- Grease in water...

              She has been trampled on...

   Yet, her terracotta soul, baked in fire, emanates hues of joy...

No one knows how....no one knows why.....

The paintbrush isn't broken..... The easel and canvas testify...

The hues change..... as she lets out a sigh....

She dips her brush in nostalgia....  

Ghouls of her past cry...

Drenched in tears of her soul..... she plods on.... 

The elixir must be unearthed.....

No one knows how....no one knows why.....

About Love... from a wise lady's diary

I often wonder whether 'love' is an overrated emotion. Having been overwhelmed by this emotion, since my teen-hood, I often wonder what 'love' is made of? Does it involve passionate physicality, poetic exuberance, or familiarity, earthy practicality and security?

Is love all about a coquettish conversation atop an open-air restaurant, overlooking the Eiffel and serving exquisite French cuisine and red wine, or is it a more homely affair, all about a cozy night preparing a meal together and watching the re-run of a favourite sit-com while talking non-stop about the daily chores and the future, at the same time? Is it about the fragrance of your significant other's favourite perfume, which still lingers in the air, after he has left for work, or is it about the long drive or the trip to Maldives or a vacation atop a tree-house in the remotest of Amazonian jungles? Is love all about taking care of his kids while he earns a living, or is it about going on an exploratory journey around the world, together, while absorbing the sights and sounds of the varied cultures of the world?

Is love a Dionysian affair, altogether? Is it about the 'feel-good' factor? or is love, about responsibility and stability? More importantly, is being happy and being responsible, not possible at the same time, or are they concepts, too antagonistic to each other?

The afore-mentioned contradictions have often perplexed me, and made me ponder over the complexity of this emotion that we so very often, take for granted. However, being a person who analyzes every relationship that she has been through, be it a failure or success, I have come to the conclusion, that love is an indescribable feeling, which cannot be encapsulated by words. However, there are a few golden rules, which I have learnt, not from any romantic novel or an agony aunt's therapeutic advice, but through my own life experiences.

The following are a few of the rules which I will definitely abide by, when in love,...the next time onwards......

1) You may love a man who you think is not worth you, in terms of education or upbringing, but never make the mistake of taking it too seriously. It will go sour one fine day, when the initial sugary romance vanishes, leaving behind the harsh reality of your incompatibility.

2) You may love a man who treats you harshly, specially if you are in the habit of being pampered, and being showered with attention and affection. You might, in this case, find novelty in a man who is rude, and does not have time for you and makes it clear to you. Never make the mistake of sticking to him. The rudeness will not vanish, but will only intensify.

3) You may love a man who you think is perfect. He resembles Adonis (or your favourite movie star, to be a bit more practical), smells awesome, treats you well, is educated, well read and loves fine cuisine, and cannot live without travelling. He soothes you with his intellectual and articulate self. He is 'oh-so-desirable'. However, he may not be the one for you. He may be too self absorbed to love you, or even care about you, in moments when he does not need to woo you.

4) The lady-killer, and the one who brags about having been with a lot of women, may impress you with his 'in-your-face' honesty, but you know what you should be doing in this case. RUN (away from him, and as fast as you can).

5) You may be in love with your ex/es, all over again. You make that call or accept that friend request, which reminds you of every minute detail about the lovely time that you had spent, in the past. You dig into your old albums to look for mushy photos which you may have clicked together, and you meet him, in the hope of rekindling your romance. DON'T. IT'S A TRAP. Life is not a fairy tale, and you are not a damsel in distress who needs a man to rescue you from your loneliness and despair. For all you know, he may be hiding a relationship/ marriage, which he is already a part of, or he may be looking for sweet revenge, and might end up hurting you more than ever. Worst case scenario: You will suddenly remember why it did not work out with him, in the first place, and you will end up having a fierce fight, which makes it impossible for you to even remain friends.

6) Yes, age is just a number and nobody cares if your significant other is too old or too young for you. However, make sure he himself believes in this, and has the enthusiasm, will and the courage to swim against the tide and be with you, and is not just making you feel good momentarily, by playing the perfect modern man.

7) Most importantly, make sure you know what you want from him, since nobody else knows better. You may be tempted by his green card, his impressive bank balance, his suave demeanour, or his Ivy league education. It could also be possible that none of this attracts you and you want a person who will make you happy, will sing to you, will never forget your birthday, will encourage you to pursue your dreams and make you laugh. Most importantly, if you do not love the second type, you need not feel guilty. You decide who comes into your life, and not society or your friends. You may be in love with a person who earns a fortune but spends all of it on vacations and good food. He may not own a bungalow or be able to gift you with that expensive diamond you have always longed for, but who cares? Who decided that a diamond is the epitome of love and affection? Maybe your diamond is exploring the English countryside on foot, or bungee jumping or a mere library with the best of books that he can gift you with. Maybe your diamond is a quiet evening together, at a cozy cafe, sipping on hot chocolate and reminiscing, while it rains outside. Maybe your diamond is not having children at all, but visiting that charity house where you and your significant other contribute, for the well-being of orphans or differently-abled children.

To conclude, what I really wonder, is who are my friends, relatives or even parents, to judge me and my decisions, and why should someone else decide for me, what 'love' should mean, or look like, or sound like, or feel like?

Love is all inclusive and weird and exuberant and vivacious. Love is the soul within you, which cannot be contained by the bonds of a relationship. You do not have to prove that you love someone, by making it evident to others around you. You only need to find someone who knows that you love him, and loves you back, the way you want him too, not mechanically, or materialistically, but wholeheartedly.

Much as I would like to believe, that love can be explained through the rules that I just mentioned, love really has no rules, and just because one rule works for me, it may not work for someone else. Such is the magnanimity of this emotion, and one hopes that the ramblings of this poor soul in love (or out of love), shall be excused.