This is a post that I had left half-written as a draft and had forgotten about. Logged in to my personal blog after ages today and found this piece relevant.
While "relationship" and "commitment" are words that become too "heavy" for some in this robotic, money-driven world, they are, in fact, quite simple concepts. It is not fair to equate a healthy relationship with a marriage, as both aren't necessarily equivalent to each other. A relationship builds a person up, nurtures him/her, and offers companionship. A marriage, especially that of the "arranged" variety, may not always do the same. A relationship should not be a truckload of expectations. However, if two people consciously decide to be with each other and genuinely desire nothing but companionship, they are bound to fall back on each other in times of crisis. It is true that nobody can or should force another person to "commit." However, if a person has the slightest bit of concern for another person, there will never be an occasion that can cause the other person to feel insecure or depressed. I believe, this is the red flag that helps one differentiate between a purely sexual intent and a deeper, more meaningful interest.
Keeping in mind the growing trend of people getting into emotionless, attachment-free relationships/ open relationships/ open marriages, I have enumerated a few points that sum up who I am, as a person.
Disclaimer: This is not a Tinder bio or a matrimonial/dating ad, but it may help others who are in similar situations feel that they are not alone.
1) "Friend-zone" is not a derisive word. I do not club losers and friends together. People who are in my "friend-zone" are not those who tried to figure in my personal life and failed. They are people I respect and admire as friends, in the truest sense of the word.
2) I cannot "move on, man..." like the uber-chic kids featured in the Fastrack ad. My relationships are not defined by the mere materialistic aspects of life. I will not get over someone by giving him back the watch that he gifted me or by taking back the glares that I bought him on his birthday.
3) Yes, I cry a lot. I show my emotions. I am not indifferent to people around me. That makes me human. Crying is not for the weak. It is for those who are not scared to reveal their emotions.
4) No, I DO NOT believe in "open relationships." Relationships, to me, are bonds, and bonds can only bind people together and strengthen their relationship. The moment it is "open," it ceases to be a relationship. A relationship is not a 24/7 hotline that is always "open."
5) I don't know how to keep my options open, when it comes to people. The moment I choose to be "open" to multiple options, I lose interest in all of them. I cannot "date" multiple people for a while and then develop feelings for one of them over a period of time. People are not brands to be chosen over other brands based on their utility.
6) "Love" and "sex" need not be synonymous, but some may not be able to put them in disjoint sets of a Venn diagram. It is important to realize that people who indulge in physical intimacy with a person they are close to, and not with random people, are not weak and do not need to transform themselves into pseudo-modern humanoids who can switch their emotions and drives on and off at will. While people who can indulge in random intimacy with random people should not be judged, those who do not wish to do so should not be judged either.
I could have added more points, but why bother words on this rainy Saturday evening and ask them to describe concepts as simple as "love" and "emotions"? Let those words nap. Let humans become more conscious of the real world and the real people made of flesh and bones than those plastic images we put up on social media for the world to see and admire.
Adios.
While "relationship" and "commitment" are words that become too "heavy" for some in this robotic, money-driven world, they are, in fact, quite simple concepts. It is not fair to equate a healthy relationship with a marriage, as both aren't necessarily equivalent to each other. A relationship builds a person up, nurtures him/her, and offers companionship. A marriage, especially that of the "arranged" variety, may not always do the same. A relationship should not be a truckload of expectations. However, if two people consciously decide to be with each other and genuinely desire nothing but companionship, they are bound to fall back on each other in times of crisis. It is true that nobody can or should force another person to "commit." However, if a person has the slightest bit of concern for another person, there will never be an occasion that can cause the other person to feel insecure or depressed. I believe, this is the red flag that helps one differentiate between a purely sexual intent and a deeper, more meaningful interest.
Keeping in mind the growing trend of people getting into emotionless, attachment-free relationships/ open relationships/ open marriages, I have enumerated a few points that sum up who I am, as a person.
Disclaimer: This is not a Tinder bio or a matrimonial/dating ad, but it may help others who are in similar situations feel that they are not alone.
1) "Friend-zone" is not a derisive word. I do not club losers and friends together. People who are in my "friend-zone" are not those who tried to figure in my personal life and failed. They are people I respect and admire as friends, in the truest sense of the word.
2) I cannot "move on, man..." like the uber-chic kids featured in the Fastrack ad. My relationships are not defined by the mere materialistic aspects of life. I will not get over someone by giving him back the watch that he gifted me or by taking back the glares that I bought him on his birthday.
3) Yes, I cry a lot. I show my emotions. I am not indifferent to people around me. That makes me human. Crying is not for the weak. It is for those who are not scared to reveal their emotions.
4) No, I DO NOT believe in "open relationships." Relationships, to me, are bonds, and bonds can only bind people together and strengthen their relationship. The moment it is "open," it ceases to be a relationship. A relationship is not a 24/7 hotline that is always "open."
5) I don't know how to keep my options open, when it comes to people. The moment I choose to be "open" to multiple options, I lose interest in all of them. I cannot "date" multiple people for a while and then develop feelings for one of them over a period of time. People are not brands to be chosen over other brands based on their utility.
6) "Love" and "sex" need not be synonymous, but some may not be able to put them in disjoint sets of a Venn diagram. It is important to realize that people who indulge in physical intimacy with a person they are close to, and not with random people, are not weak and do not need to transform themselves into pseudo-modern humanoids who can switch their emotions and drives on and off at will. While people who can indulge in random intimacy with random people should not be judged, those who do not wish to do so should not be judged either.
I could have added more points, but why bother words on this rainy Saturday evening and ask them to describe concepts as simple as "love" and "emotions"? Let those words nap. Let humans become more conscious of the real world and the real people made of flesh and bones than those plastic images we put up on social media for the world to see and admire.
Adios.
No comments:
Post a Comment